My Immortal (co-written with maryoswald)
by raggedypond
Summary: The Doctor arrives at Clara's door on a Wednesday as promised and as always he asks her where she wants to go. This time she says she wants to see a castle, something special. History. The Doctor remembers one of his old friends, Talisa Maegyr and decides to take Clara to Talisa and Robb's wedding but he never pulls the right lever. So they end up at the wrong wedding...


Chapter One: _hanging by a moment here with you_

It was a warm and sunny Wednesday; the morning sky hung merrily among the puffball clouds and made everything better and brighter. The Doctor used to hate Wednesdays. Wednesdays were boring and, just like on Sundays, nothing happened on Wednesdays.

But since he met Clara, Wednesdays had become special. Another Wednesday meant another adventure, it meant Clara and her smile and her scent and her voice, and these had become an essential part of his life. Here mere presence was a ray of sunshine in his dark and gloomy, condemned existence and he was thankful for every second spent with her.

He had watched her die so many times that her deaths had invaded his nightmares and his fears, and his waking thoughts. His one task was to protect Clara Oswald, to keep her safe for as long as possible, to never let her die again.

But a darker thought was lurking in the shadows of his conscience; he would protect her and love her and never let her get hurt, but they could not run forever. The day would come when he would have to let her go. He would have to abandon her in order to save her. The Doctor feared this day more than his own death; he chased this thought away, he never let it get to him because it was too painful.

He had lost every woman he had ever loved; he had watched every woman he had ever loved die. He wouldn't let this happen.

This time, he would make sure it didn't happen.

He parked the TARDIS in Clara's back yard and pulled the door open. Humming a cheerful tune, he strolled along the garden path, among the beautiful flowers Clara had planted and with a goofy smile he knocked on the door.

The wind was making the curtains from the window opened move and Clara just looked at them, hoping that maybe this wind was going to be followed by the TARDIS' sound, but there was nothing but silence. Silence that killed every piece of her, silence that was making her thought even louder. _Will he pull the right lever? Will I see him today? _She couldn't stand staying in bed so she quickly ran to the calendar checking again if it was Wednesday. And it was.

Her lips curved into a smile and she hoped the Doctor won't forget their Wednesday adventure. As she got out of the room, she ran on the stairs like she always did and took her book: **101 Places to see. **Her mum's book. She hold it near her chest and looked down, holding away her tears and opened it randomly, seeing a place like a castle, a place that looked so ancient and yet it seemed that it will be there forever.

Clara smiled and remembered they had never been in such a place. She wanted to see the life of the Lords, maybe during the wars, because she couldn't trust history, not now, not ever. There were just words thrown on a piece of paper that waited to be learned by heart.

As she was sitting on the stairs with the book on her knees, she heard the sound of the TARDIS, the sound that made her heart get out of her chest every time she heard it. The smile she already had on her face grew larger as she jumped enthusiastically from the stairs to open the door as she heard the knock.

Before opening the door she had already seen the Doctor's silhouette, his coat moving so fast because he couldn't wait to see her. She opened the door and when she met the Doctor's smile, his face, his chin she just couldn't help smiling. At the same time she didn't want to be like his others companions, always enthusiastic about his coming. Even though she was, she had to hide it. Clara raised an eyebrow as he was looking at him. "You're late" - she said as she leaned against the opened door, waiting for his explanation.

There she was, an eyebrow raised, a cocky expression on her pretty face. She loved to tease him, didn't she? The Doctor knew that she was suppressing a smile, she was hiding how happy she was because she didn't want to get attached. He knew she didn't fully trust him and she expected him to eventually stop showing up. But he would never do this to her. Not without a warning, not without an explanation. He wanted to earn her trust, he wanted her to know that she could rely on him. That he would risk his life for her.  
Oh, wasn't she tantalizing him, with her short dress in floral motives and her beautiful shiny hair framing her face and making her eyes seem darker and yet brighter.

"Sorry for that one," he grinned and he saw her face soften. The ends of her lips turned up a little, resembling a smile and he knew he was almost forgiven. "You know how I never get to pull the right lever, I always mess it up."

He offered his hand, waiting for her to take it. He loved her gentle touch, her silk-soft fingers wrapped tightly around his. She didn't let him drag her around, she was the one in control. That was one of those little things the Doctor loved so much about her: she never allowed him to boss her. His strong, tiny Clara… Oh, he loved her so.  
Her small hand finally slipped in his and a huge goofy smile blossomed on his dorky face. He squeezed gently and then arched his eyebrow invitingly. Another sunny day, another adventure, another time, another planet. He never knew where they would go but he was always happy to be with her.  
"Where do you want to go today?" the Doctor grinned though it didn't really matter. He could just sit on the couch and cuddle her and he would still be happy. However, he had promised her an adventure, so an adventure it was. "Or when do you want to go? Anywhere, anywhen, just say the word."

And really, he would never say "no" to her, he would take her to any place, he would go beyond the Universe if he had to. She was his impossible girl, she had done the impossible for him, so he was willing to reciprocate until the end of his days. _Do the impossible for Clara_ was his new motto.

Of course she knew. She never counted on the Doctor to pull the right lever. Not now, not ever. She was just disappointed because there were Wednesdays he missed and for her it seemed an eternity to wait until the next one, when for him, it was just a lever. "You always do that, so I guess I just have to get used to it" - she said, her voice trying to be calm and usual without letting out the joy that he was finally in front of her.

Clara took his hand and chills came all over her skin when she touched his hand. That alien skin that seemed so human when she touched it. Her smile became larger as she made a step forward, going closer to him. She looked down and entwined her fingers with his as she smiled and tried to answer his question.

She already knew the answer to the question, but she loved letting him wait, giving the impression she was really thinking. "I want to go…" - she started looking at the book she was holding in her hand, smiling at the cover. The image of a big castle came back in her mind, imagining herself wearing those long dresses, behaving like a lady. She started pacing around, letting go of the Doctor's hand. "I want to see…" - she continued, without finishing her sentence. She never did and she loved making the Doctor always wait for her.

After some moments she just turned and looked at the Doctor with a smile on her face. "A castle. Something out of the ordinary. History"

The Doctor furrowed his brow as he rummaged through his memories. A castle… History… Where could he take her? He wanted it to be big - no, he wanted it to be huge, he wanted to see her impressed, he wanted to see the look on her face and know that he'd satisfied her. As he stood there, watching her pace back and forth, waiting for him to say something, he imagined her in a dress. One of those long, below-the-ankle dresses that embraced the body in a special way, and hid its curves. One of those dresses that showed nothing but clung on to the body in a way that suggested what was beneath. He imagined her wearing a corset and felt his face warm up.

"How would like," he began, then stopped. He could play her game, too. She liked to make him wait, to tease him and never finish her sentences so he would give her a taste of her own medicine; he would show her how it felt. He tilted his head and carefully watched as Clara held her breath in anticipation. The Doctor was beginning to understand why she liked doing it; the look on her face in this very moment was priceless. She looked as though she wanted to grab him and shake him, and shout at him to tell her.

"How would you like to go to…"  
He had come up with an idea and he had a gut feeling that his impossible girl would like it. Years ago, he had helped a girl, Talisa Maegyr, escape from home. She had become a dear friend and the Doctor knew that she'd got married to a king but since her last letter he hadn't heard from her. Since she was a queen, she would live in a castle. And it was history, after all.

He ran towards Clara and held her both hands in his. Locking his eyes on hers, he leaned forward, his nose nearly touching hers and felt her breath on his skin. Her eyes were shining with excitement.  
"How would you like to go to a Medieval wedding?" the Doctor finally blurted out and waited for Clara's reaction.

Clara crossed her arms when she saw the Doctor pacing around, being all excited, thinking about where to take her. She smiled for a moment, because it was the same thing she did so he was just paying her back. "He is doing the thing" - she mumbled for herself, because she didn't want to distract him.

As he was talking, Clara just rolled her eyes, staying there, waiting for him to tell her where he would take her. _Oh, just tell me already _- she thought, shaking her head as she was admiring him. When he finally turned she laughed and her large smile didn't disappear from her face. Her eyes were shining and when he leaned forward, she felt her heart stopped.

Her look went on his lips for a second and then back to his eyes. She didn't want him to notice. Clara waited with excitement for the Doctor to tell her and when he finally did she looked down, not disappointed, but surprised, smiling for herself when she thought about it. Wedding. Medieval. The two things she wanted to hear in a sentence.

She imagined herself wearing a long dress, a dark one because it would emphasize her pale skin and her dark hair. She imagined herself wearing those old jewelries with big diamonds, looking like a true Lady. When she raised her look to see the Doctor's face, her eyes were shining with excitement, the enthusiasm she tried so much to hide was finally showing because of her smile. Clara nodded and tried to find some words to say. "Medieval wedding it is then. You made me curious" - she said, taking his hand as she started running to the TARDIS parked in the same place as usual. At least he always managed to park it on the same spot.

The Doctor pushed the TARDIS door open and entered the console room. As he was stepping over the threshold, however, he tripped, almost fell, then spun around as though he were dancing some weird dance and grabbed a lever. After he steadied himself, red flush coloured his cheeks. He avoided looking at Clara, feeling rather embarrassed, and pretended to toy with some levers and buttons.  
"Okay," he started, then noticed that Clara was standing with her back to him. Her posture gave him to opportunity to give her a long, long look from head to toe and admire her petite, sweet body. But there was something terribly wrong with her just-above-the-knees dress. It fitted her perfectly but it just wasn't… Medieval.

"Wait, before we leave, we have to make a short trip," he winked at her and headed into the heart of the TARDIS. He heard Clara's footsteps as she ran to catch up with him. After a few minutes' running through long halls and taking sharp turns, the two of them stopped in front of a double mahogany door.

"Clara Oswald," his lips curled into a small smile, "Welcome into the TARDIS wardrobe."

The Doctor spun on his heels and giggled at Clara's face.

As she entered the TARDIS she didn't try to look around as she always did, because it was always the same so she just focused on the console and the Doctor, the most important things in the room. She tried not to laugh when she saw the Doctor playing with the levers and the buttons, pretending to dance and in the end fail so she just turned round, being ready to open the TARDIS' doors when she would hear the materializing sound of the box.

The TARDIS didn't make any sound, not of taking off, nor of landing and when she heard the Doctor speaking she just turned her head to look at him. All she prayed for was that the TARDIS wasn't broken and anything. She knew that just spending the day with the Doctor would be an adventure, but she really wanted to see herself in a medieval dress at a wedding as such. Then the Doctor quickly talked and he said they had to make a short trip and before she could say anything he had started to run.

Clara didn't have time to open her mouth in order to say a word because the Doctor had already left the console room so she just started running as fast as she could so wouldn't lose him. Because this ship was infinite and she couldn't bear losing the Doctor in such a ship. After they turned left and right, ran forwards and backwards they finally stopped in front of two big doors.

When the Doctor opened the doors, her eyes got bigger because of the surprise and she felt how chills came on her back as she saw the multitude of clothes that she saw. At first she didn't understand why he had brought her here, but then she looked for a moment at her dress and she just smiled. It was too short for the medieval times. Clara looked at the Doctor and raised an eyebrow. "Are you thinking of staying here while I change?" - she said, already losing herself among the clothes.

"I - I… N-n-no, of course n-n-not" the Doctor stuttered, blushed scarlet red and ran out of the room at the speed of light. He slammed the heavy door behind his back and rested his back against the wall as he waited for Clara to change. His cheeks were still burning; why did this girl make him blush so much? He couldn't remember blushing, at least not before the day he met her, and yet she was making him blush every five seconds. She was bold and shameless, and she didn't hesitate when it came to putting the Doctor in his place. In many ways, she reminded him of Donna who had always been so done with him. But Donna hadn't been able to make his stomach feel weirdly. When he was around Clara, he felt a strange sort of excitement, a tickling sensation in every fiber of his body. She made him dizzy, she took his breath away. He felt awkwardly okay with this. It was a feeling he wouldn't give up for the world.

He had showed the wardrobe to other companions and they had taken their time going through it, trying clothes on for hours but Clara was surprisingly quick. Lost in thought, the Doctor hadn't paid much attention to how long it had taken her but it surely hadn't been hours. He heard the door opening, so he straightened his back, fixed his bowtie and turned around, taking a deep breath.

She was standing there, in a long dress that was almost brushing the ground, and with an enormous smile on her face. She spun around, showing all sides of the dress, chuckling merrily and covering her face in her hands.

He barely stopped his jaw from dropping. His hearts beat faster than ever and he felt as though millions of butterflies were fluttering inside his stomach. Overwhelmed by her looks, he could hardly take a breath; it felt almost impossible to force his lungs to work as every single cell in his body was concentrated on the fact how -

Oh, he couldn't even find words to describe how beautiful she was. It seemed to him that every adjective in every language was just offensive. There were no words in the Universe that could describe her. He noticed that her lips were moving but he couldn't hear a sound. All he could think of was the way that dress clung on to her fragile body; the way that necklace made her eyes look mysteriously darker; the way in which her hair completed the outfit.

He was dumbstruck.

She wasn't the impossible girl. She was the impossibly beautiful girl. In this very second he realised just how much he loved her.

The look on Clara's face had changed; she looked rather worried now and her smile had slowly faded.

When the doors of the wardrobe closed Clara smiled and started wandering between the multitude of clothes. She saw so many things she would like to wear, she touched so many dresses made from different materials, she doubted one of them were even from Earth. And she couldn't stop.

They all said it is a woman's dream to be locked in a room full of clothes and until now Clara never understood the meaning of this, but now that she was feeling it, now that she was stuck between clothes she couldn't help laughing, taking a dress and fitting it on her body, dancing with it in front of the mirror and then just throwing it away and took another one.

She couldn't help it, but she knew that outside those doors there was another adventure with the man she loved so she couldn't afford staying closed here the whole Wednesday. Clara started running around the long dresses, trying to chose the one that looked perfect for a medieval wedding. She didn't want to be elegant, because she wasn't a lady, neither she wanted to be mistaken by a maid or a servant.

There were so many, all the colors and with all the models, and the embroidery was made of so many expensive materials. For a moment she asked herself where did the Doctor took this from. While looking at the dresses she just saw a dark blue one, the color of the sky before it becomes black, the color of a star when it doesn't shine so bright. Clara smiled and took the dress, admiring its gold embroidery and it's soft material.

She took it really quickly, the dress fitting perfectly her skinny body, the dress being really tight around her waist and from there, a dark material fell on her legs like a waterfall at night. She went near the mirror and looked at herself with a smile on her face. She really looked like she was going to get married. Clara's smile became larger as she kept turning to make sure the dress was perfect. After some moments she saw the jewelry box and she ran there and she chose a gold necklace that was having in the middle a big blue diamond which was in a perfect contrast with her eyes and her hair and her skin, and fitted perfectly with the dress. She chose no earrings, but she couldn't help taking a silver bracelet, the silver surrounded by small black diamonds that fitted her hand perfectly and it looked as she expected to on her skin.

After taking a pair of black shoes, not too high because she knew that traveling with the Doctor meant running and she didn't want to fall and being laughed at because of that, Clara went to look in the mirror, brushing her hair and putting most of it under a silver hair clip, leaving some of her brunette locks of hair fall on her cheeks.

She looked one last time in the mirror and then got out, looking for the Doctor. He couldn't have got too far, because he knew she would get lost in this ship. When she saw him, her lips curved into a smile and she wanted so much to ask him how she looked, but the glimmer in his eyes and the way he was looking told her that she did a good job. Clara noticed the Doctor was staring too much and her so she blushed and looked down with a smile on her face. When she raised her look he was still staring at her so she became really worried for a moment. "Doctor?" Was she so beautiful he couldn't take his eyes from her? "I think we should go" - she said getting closer to him, wrapping her arm around his, with the same large smile on her face.

Her touch made him uneasy. He really really wanted to do something; whether to hug her, or to kiss her, he couldn't tell. Maybe both. Clara's arm around his made him smile widely. For a, thousandth of a second he was sure he would just pull her closer and he would bury his fingers in her shiny hair, and he would press his lips against hers but the urge was gone in the blink of an eye. The Doctor was too big a coward. So he just embraced her, breathing in her scent, drowning in the feeling of holding her tightly. He knew that the hug had surprised her but Clara didn't say anything, she just smiled shyly.

Lacing his fingers through hers, the Doctor pulled Clara down a hallway, on a journey through labyrinths of rooms and halls and stairways, into dim placed and brightly lit rooms until they finally reached the console room.

He bent over the console and stared at it for a while, taking the time to think why his body and mind were reacting like this to Clara. He couldn't let himself love her, could he? He would hurt both of them irreparably. He had seen the shattered pieces of his love, he left scars everywhere he went and he couldn't add Clara to the pile of dead bodies, to the list of broken hearts. He couldn't see her get hurt. The Doctor wanted to keep his distance, he wanted to prevent her from getting hurt… But as she smiled ever so slightly, as she giggled like a schoolgirl at the sight of her fluttering dress, she was so innocently adorable that every thought he'd had in mind about keeping his distance evaporated.

Praying that he would pull the proper lever, that he would push the right buttons and brake in the exact moment, he started flying the TARDIS. It made him feel closer to home, it gave him a sense of security, a feeling of being exactly where he was supposed to be. The TARDIS responded to his every touch, to every caress, to every word. The two of them were at complete ease with each other. If there was constant thing in his life, it was the TARDIS. Sexy had been there before him, and she would be long after he was gone. As he ran his hand along the console, a melancholic grin stretched his lips. He and his girls, travelling together to their next adventure.  
What he remembered of Westeros was the beautiful scenery. He had been there in the end of a terribly long summer, and he had seen the beauty of a dying season. He hoped that he would be able to show Clara this whole new world in its gloriously amazing beauty. He hoped that she would like the sunsets there, the air that was so different, the sky that was bluer and the grass that was greener. The great stone castles, the men in chainmail training with blunted swords, the children playing tag. He hoped that she would love the noises: the swords clashing and the men grunting, children laughing and shouting, tradesmen loudly advertising their goods; women singing and horses neighing, and dogs barking, and music pouring through open windows. He hoped that she would like the septs and the statues of the gods the Westerosi worshiped.  
The Doctor hoped she would fall in love with the sights and colours and scents. He hoped he would be able to satisfy her desires. He hoped she would be pleased with what he showed her. Maybe he would even take her to the Wall and show her the sunrise from the top.

He finally pulled the brakes, just like River had told him, but the TARDIS made, once again, the same old sound of materialising.

Clara smiled as she saw the disappointment on the Doctor's face when the TARDIS still made the same materialising sound she was so excited to hear every Wednesday. "You shouldn't try to stop it. I really want to know when you come" - she said as she walked towards the door of the TARDIS. "If not I am not so sure I would open the door" - she turned to offer the Doctor a smirk and then she just smiled when she looked at the two doors that were standing between her and the medieval wedding. Clara hoped the Doctor pulled the right lever and brought them to the right place.

Most of the time she didn't wait for him to come near her and that day wasn't an exception. She opened the doors of the TARDIS and for a moment she forgot how to blink. In front of her there was a big castle, its towers meeting the sky and she saw a kid up there trying to climb to the top. _What if he falls? _- she asked herself as she watched him, forgetting to look around. The gates were open so she breathed relieved when she realized they didn't have to use the Psychic paper. The castle that met the sky was colored in a lot of gray tones and it seemed like a play for the rays of sunshine that made it look like an unsolved puzzle. As she tried to get her eyes away from the silhouette who kept climbing the towers, she moved her sight to the multitude of people that were going on and out of that gate, holding different useful things such as food for both the animals and the family, decorations. Also there were people who were cleaning the path in front of the castle so that the important people who came didn't need to worry about getting dirty.

It seemed like the family that lived here was happy because of the laughter she could hear coming from the yard, because of the children's footsteps as they were running. When she looked up, trying to make sure that kid was okay, his silhouette disappeared. Clara tried not to worry, even though her heart started beating faster.

As she was looking to all the people doing their jobs and everyone being so relaxed, because it was obvious that those people were only servants of the important family that lived there, Clara realized they weren't at a wedding and the Doctor pulled the wrong lever again. She rolled her eyes and she turned to look at him. Fortunately for her, he was right behind her. "There is no wedding here. At least tell me we are the right place" - she said avoiding his eyes, looking at the hills that could be seen in the distance.

The Doctor popped his head through the TARDIS door and frowned. The air was still and cool, and grey clouds hung above them. Everything looked grim and dark even though laughter and music could be heard coming from the castle. They were in the North, miles and miles away from where he had left Talisa so many years ago. He didn't know where exactly she'd got married but at least he knew where they were. The Doctor allowed Clara to be the first one to step out of the TARDIS, then followed her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

He felt angry at himself for disappointing her. He had really wanted to take her to a wedding and he'd taken her to boring, mundane day in a castle instead. As he rubbed her shoulders, partly to make her warm and partly in an apologetic manner, he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"I am so so sorry. I promise I'll pull the right lever next time, I swear I will take you to a wedding," he looked at her pleadingly, his big wet eyes asking her not to be mad. "I'll show you around the castle and then we'll go to a wedding, and we'll be back before teatime, I cross my hearts!"  
Clara giggled and he knew it would be alright, so he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her down the path.

"Come on, Clara Oswald, you are honoured to witness the sight of the great and mighty Winterfell!"


End file.
